The Fifth Annual BAU's Chill Day
by stranger12
Summary: Dave is told of a BAU annual holiday (of sorts)


**Criminal Minds – The Fifth Annual BAU's Chill Day**

Dave is told of a BAU annual holiday (of sorts)

* * *

Rossi dove into Hotch's office panting, and the younger man raised his eyebrows at him.

"'No, Dave, my team is the best'" – Rossi started saying in a lower voice, making Hotch frown – "'They are all professionals', 'Reid is not a child', 'No, Morgan is not a loose cannon', 'Of course you can trust JJ!', and my favorite, 'Dave, Emily Prentiss is one of the most poised agents I have ever seen'. Bull–fucking–shit, Aaron! Jesus Fucking Christ!"

"Come in, Dave, take a seat, what seem to be the problem?"

"What seems– You're fucking kidding?! You cannot tell me you don't know what shitstorm going on out there!"

"Oh, that. Did I not mention it?"

"Fuck no"

"It's the BAU's Annual Chill Day. I must have mentioned it"

"I'm sorry, what did you just say? The BAU's– What?"

"Annual Chill Day"

"I feel like I am way too old for this thing, 'cause I definitely heard what you said, twice, but I can't understand it. At all. What the– What does that even mean, the BAU's Annual Chill Day?!"

"Strauss instituted it... I think this is the Fifth Chill Day"

"What– But why would Strauss even–?"

"After many complaints and suggestions, she finally decided that they were all correct, or that they all had a point, and the agents need a day to loosen up, especially the BAU, considering the hours we keep and that everyone works 24/7, a lot"

"Okay. I mean– Sure, that makes sense" – he walked up to the window and recoiled when a paintball smashed into it – "That does not make sense. Why is this happening HERE? HERE! And why could you, or anyone else for that matter, take the time to TELL ME NOT TO COME IN TODAY?!"

"Again, I thought you knew"

"You didn't tell me, why would you assume I would know?"

"Well, you know"

"No, Aaron, I don't" – Hotch sighed.

"You KNOW" – he proceeded to wiggle his eyebrows in the most disturbing manner, in Rossi's quite experienced opinion. Plus he had known Hotch for how long and the man had decided to start WIGGLING his eyebrows?

The world was ending. And someone had better stop shooting paintballs at the window or he would go outside and just–! Did they all forget he was in 'Nam? And he was a legendary (LEGENDARY!) agent? He could wipe the floor with 'em all, he was a better shot than JJ (by far the best of the kids, from what he had been able to tell from their files), he could grab a painball gun from whomever and just–

Wait.

"Did you not tell me on purpose?" – he demanded from the all too cool Hotch.

"Would I do that?"

"Yes"

"Fair enough"

"And why aren't you out there anyway?"

Hotch's only response was to grin from ear to ear, yet another extremely disconcerting vision from hell, and pull out two guns. Well, two paintball guns, from under his desk. Then he threw one at Rossi, who was still quick enough to grab it, 'cause that shit was kinda heavy and it would hurt his feet if it fell and– Hang on.

"You planned this. You son of a–"

"Let's not start mother calling, shall we?"

"Are you colluding with those maniacs?"

"Dave, you should know better, we don't profile each other"

"Bullshit" – nonetheless, Rossi found himself smirking – "So, are you with me or with them?"

"I fear it's every agent for themselves" – he stood up and cocked his gun – "In the name of our long standing friendship, I'll give you a two minutes head start"

"Asshole"

"Learned from the best" – Rossi snorted and grabbed onto the door handle when Hotch stopped him – "Oh, and by the way? Don't even think about hiding in your office until this is over, there are rules about today"

"You really are a son of a bitch, Aaron"

"Thank you, Dave" – naturally, Hotch pointed and shot at him, striking a perfectly red paintball right in the middle of his chest. And his previously immaculate, monogrammed shirt – "I said two minutes"

"Fucking– You're going to pay for this, what comes around and that shit"

"I'll be waiting. Oh, and seriously? You may wanna avoid Reid, 'cause those degrees of him? He loves putting them to use today"

"Just awesome, just– Fuck you, Aaron"

"Fuck you two, Dave, and remember, it's Chill Day, not Fake Murder Your Colleague Day"

"I'll put it in the suggestion box for next year"

* * *

I don't think I can say at the moment if I miss Hotch, but I'm sure I will eventually miss his dry humor, at the very least. For the time being, we all have fandom. We'll always have fandom =D


End file.
